I wrote this in 1999 as part of the Servant Leadership School process. Very interesting to look back at looking back. My life through the lens of a younger me. I wonder what the younger me would make of the current me. Would I be surprised? Or am I all too predictable in my maturations and consternations? Here it is, unedited:
In a sense my spiritual journey began with my dad’s father. He was a Red Bird Mission Pastor/Educator and my earliest ideas of ministry and service come from time spent with my grandparents in the eastern mountains of Kentucky. I can’t remember a sermon my Grandfather preached or a specific conversation about faith, religion, Jesus, or the like, but I sensed love for others and their needs that only Christ could give.
My parents as well modeled a quiet blend of service, leadership, tradition, and faith that continues to intrigue me. My mother and father served in a multitude of ways at the Paris, KY First UM church at which we were members. They were anything but expressive about their faith, but I will never forget the hours spent at the church cleaning, painting, teaching, helping….. well, just serving.
I suppose something must have stuck because my mom writes in June of 1980, when I was four, “He asked me how he could get to heaven. I told him to say Jesus come into my heart and forgive me of all the bad things I did, he did and gave his life to Jesus”.
My teenage years were an interesting time of struggling and not even knowing it. I think I fit the proverbial mold of a “sophomore” a wise fool. Prior to my freshman year of high school I attended a Christian music concert and made a more conscious to follow Christ and be more bold about my faith. I became deeply involved with my church youth group, district youth events, and especially church camp. I believe it was the relationships and experiences I had a camp that began to shape the identity I was forming of myself. Unfortunately, I got a bit carried away and decide that my faith in Christ made me, in some way, better than others in my school. Looking back I see the trap of legalism and pride in which I was stuck.
During my 4.5 years at Asbury College God began to do some renovations in my life. Through friends, professors, counselors, and chapel speakers God was churning my life to a point of brokenness and openness to His Grace and peace such that I had never experienced. By the time I graduated I felt I could truly say that I knew Him in a personal and intimate way. I felt His call to come to Hamilton First to serve as Christian Education and Youth Director and I have felt nothing but confirmation of that call since I’ve been here (even when I feel like I want to quit). I sense He is now preparing me to continue my service here and begin to consider what will lay ahead in the future for ministry and family.
It’s interesting for me to go back and see some of the statements I made years back. The current me would certainly surprise the old me, and I’m sure the old me would at least find the new me likable (though a bit irritating).
I found a statement several years back that I submitted to my DCOM in SC as a 16 year old that I was flat out ashamed of. I was hard on the Church. Cool thing was, the members of the DCOM, who were a part of the Church I was so hard on, were nothing but loving and supportive to me. An interesting picture of grace.
that was cool to read, in all of our many conversions I don’t think I have asked you about you journey with christ.