*tear

read. lament. mourn. do the sackcloth and ashes if need be.

IM conversation

On Friday night (and into the wee hours of Sat. morn) friends gathered – new and old. Drinks were drunk, smokes were smoked, wounds were let to breathe, jokes were told, and good and rich and “kingdom-full” conversations pervaded the space. If the Kingdom were a party – this was surely a Kingdom gathering.

This AM John Barrow and I were IM’ing and he asked: (so here you go, enjoy. its only editted for flow and sensibility)

John: you guys talk about anything important?

Aaron: some – bean and alan and i talked for a couple hours (from 2-4 am) about Core stuff and VC direction. i’ll try to summarize….

Aaron: basically their thought was that we should have (atleast) one more all VC gathering (like in June) to corporately discern what we are moving into. a leaders retreat will likely come out of that, but we need some sense of direction before we can do that. i think their thought with that was we don’t really know what VC is anymore – it lacks significant identifiying structure and before we can add a new structure (i.e. Core conversation) we need to figure out where people are and such…. otherwise the thing we propose could be pointless. my hunch is that we’ll end up continuing to articulate something of a Core of committed people – kinda of like a Religious Order – that will make public vows to God and the community and that that will be a new sense or layer of identity for VC…. but there needs to be some (as we’ve alreday begun talking about) public forum for that processing (with it being open-ended enough to say that if this ISN”T where God is leading then we lay it down). i kinda see it like we all need to lay all our cards on the table…. if people are clinging to a VC that no longer exists that should be stated, grieved, and moved on. if VC as an entity needs to die and be reborn as something different (non-vineyard, for instance) then fine. if there are folks who want/need/feel called to a Vineyard-ized Vineyard Central then perhaps they can have the “VC” name and hire a pastor and become a ‘regular” church…. while others move into a network of house churches that share leadership and resources. or perhaps St. E’s the building will become owned and operated by a Non-profit that will be a seperated (but related) entity than VC – so that VC can be the network of house churches that it needs to be

John: This sounds interesting. Will you bring up these ideas when we meet again as the pc?

Aaron: yeah – i’ll probably post something of it too on the blog

Aaron: alan is online – i’ll run what i told you by him to see if i missed anything

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Alan: cool – sounds about what we said – I was also stressing that the leadership who don’t even want to be leadership, who’ve sort of drifted out during this period, ala – Brocks, Nixons, Barrs(?), etc. need to be there and at this LeTreat thing if not only for closure

Alan: it would be sad if relationships degraded to a point that people just slipped away from each other after all these years and ended up not talking and doing their own deals – I know sometimes that happens but in this case it definitely shouldn’t I wouldn’t think – again, I’m speaking as a friend and not an insider

Aaron: i agree – i think that that “slipping away-ness” would be a very bad thing in this time

Alan: it’s sad to me already – as I look inside from what I’ve seen through 2-3 years

Aaron: yeah – i def. think there is (has been, and will be) some grieving going on, but on the whole i think we’re continuing to move forward…

Alan: that’s good – it’s always hard to go through changes like this – evolution hurts

Aaron: truly, it does!

Aaron: maybe its even a bit of “changing of the guard” – with the desire for the “old guard” to not drift off, but to stay around as wisdom-bearers and sages

Alan: right

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John: BTW I think it is correct that everyone who has a stake in VC should have the chance to contribute to the conversation

Aaron: yeah, so do i… i’ve had some good conversations with elizabeth and charlie re: this stuff

John: I’m not one to cram things down other peoples throught. It feels to me like a bad leadership style.

Aaron: agreed. so far i think we’re far from doing that… i think we’re doing well with moving forward and doing so TOGETHER

John: As has been the case with all these conversations I am looking forward to what will eventually come from it all.

Aaron: me too, me too!

Bono's Epistle

Make AIDS a crucial topic at both conventions (read).

AIDS

poverty

dept

trade

politics

advocacy

money

will

passion

US has more poor, more lacking health coverage

“The number of Americans living in poverty or without health insurance grew last year, a government survey showed, adding potential dynamite to the battle for the White House.

The poverty threshold is 18,810 dollars annually for a family of four or 9,393 dollars for a single person.” click to keep reading.

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“The transformation to a low-wage economy was symbolized by the fate of General Motors’ assembly plant, located in Norwood. The factory had long been a source of employment for workers migrating from the depressed coal mining regions of Kentucky and West Virginia. It had a history of wildcat strikes and was known as one of the most militant plants in the state. In the late 1980s GM shut the plant, eliminating 4,700 jobs. The site where the plant once stood is now a shopping mall, employing scores of low-paid retail workers. Norwood now has the lowest average income in Hamilton County, just $28,738.”

“Child poverty is high in the working class suburbs of Lockland, Mt. Healthy and Norwood, a mostly white suburb, where one of every three students is poor.”

Harvest Time

“Always, man dreams about the future

what he will sow next

and where he will reap a harvest.

The planting itself is not enough;

he longs for the day of fruitfulness.

-klb 8/19/04, see 1 Peter 5:10″

Thanks Kendra. I needed that.

Postmodern monasteries

Steve Taylor writes about “postmodern monasteries”, here’s a quote:

“A postmodern monastery – Combining authentic, low-budget group creativity with the task of preserving technical knowledge within the rhythms of prayer in order to cross the digital divide and catalyse open source spirituality”

Here’s the link: read it.

This is fodder for our ongoing conversation about a Core within VC, a Religious Order for this time, this place, our community.

A reflection:

Whatever this thing is that I keep talking about, it is NOT a regressive step. It is not “freeze-frame” faith or ecclesiology – we are NOT trying to conserve, preserve, or (even) re-serve (in the traditionalism fashion – “if we could just get back to the way it was in _____”).

This is FORWARD motion.

She blogs, she blogs, she really really blogs

Elizabeth Herron.

Feeling the Funk (yet again)

Hum… Not sure why, but last night, and now this morning, I feel…. odd. Out of sorts. Almost exposed. Vulnerable.

Guess it probably has to do with yesterday’s post. Kinda felt like I opened myself up to potential criticism. Not that I’ve received any, mind you, just feels tenuous. Like I really shared my heart and I’m not sure if what I said will be accepted. Guess it may sound silly, but I really struggle with wanting everyone to like me. I HATE conflict and relational tension. And while I continue to believe that VC is moving in the direction of deeper, more focused committment AND broader scope and influence (at the same time) the moving in that direction feels scary and uncertain.

Its kinda like when you paint a room – which we are doing now in the Brownhouse. In order to give the room new life and a new look it has to go through lots of messiness and disorientation. Everything comes out and you find all kinds of stuff that you had no idea was there (old photos, CDs, files, and car-sign magnets). All the other rooms have to “pick up the slack” for the room being painted. Its funky, messy work, but the end result is good, fresh, and new. Of course you don’t have to start over with everything, you still put old furniture back in. Things get reused, but somethings go away.

Anyway, I don’t want to extend the analogy too far, but it does capture a bit of how I feel. I guess it is doubly funky because in some ways there is real possibility (probability probably) that others won’t understand! Sarah and I were reflecting last night on how difficult it is to explain to people what we’re doing, where we’re living, and the like. People (mostly Christians) don’t get how or why we do church the way we do. They don’t understand why I don’t want to get paid to pastor or why we don’t have church staff. They see community living as a nice thing to do for a little while – until you grow-up or something. Alan talks abit about this on his blog today (check it out). I often feel like a “Martian on Earth” too.

A reminder to myself: This funk shall pass, God is faithful.

Of Monastic Vows

The Benedictine Sisters of Yankton

Fidelity to the monastic way of life – a promise to seek God by embracing the pattern of cenobitic living inspired by the Rule of Benedict; a commitment to the ongoing conversion essential to the Christian way of life as it unfolds according to the charism of Sacred Heart Monastery.

Abbey of St. Walburga

By the vow of fidelity to the monastic way of life, or conversatio morum, to use the original, untranslatable Latin phrase of the Rule of St. Benedict, we commit ourselves to a lifelong pilgrimage toward that perfect love of God and neighbor which Christ urges on us in the gospel. We undertake to grow and change as God shapes us through all the dimensions of our way of life. All Christians accept this commitment to conversion in baptism; Benedictines choose to live out that commitment within the specific framework of monasticism. Fidelity to the monastic life includes poverty, interpreted in the Rule as frugality and the renunciation of any form of private ownership of goods, and celibate chastity.

St. Andrew’s Abbey Vayermo

(The Petition, from the Rite of Reception Into the Novitiate)

Taize

Will you henceforth fulfil your service of God within our community, in communion with your brothers?

I will.

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The above quotes and copy-n-pastes are from various monasteries and communities. So, without taking sufficient time for background (refer to this post below), I want to offer some thoughts….

I see a need for a Core of people within VC who respond to the call of God on their life and enter into a covenant relationship with the God and the community. This would be something of an Order – similar to Religious Orders of Monastics. In some sense it is like The Order of Mission @ St Thomas’ Church, Sheffield, though this would be local. It certainly be misisonal, communal, and small.

But how to create such a thing? Is this an unhealthy retreat from ________? Does this form an exclusive club that is anti-Kingdom? Is this a matter of control and boundaries for safety? What should characterize such an Order? Who is this for? What does it do? What vows should one take? Why should there be vows? Isn’t this just like church membership?

Hum…. lots of questions. I do not intend to answer all (or maybe any) at this point…. but some thoughts to that end.

One of the consistencies in the communities I looked at were three (3) vows:

Obedience

Stability

Fidelity

These are important me thinks. We should not overlook these. What could these mean in our context?

Obedience – to the person of Christ first and foremost. What is God calling the person too? But this is not an individualized obedience. It is follower-ship of Christ in the context of the community – because this is the only place follower-ship can happen – in a community of faith. And because one makes vows to this particular community then any life-altering decisions get processed with the community. This is essentially accountability from brothers and sisters for the sake of the Kingdom. So, in that way it is (or may look like) obedience to the community. Not because you give up your individual responsibility or identity, but becasue you admit that “I can’t be a disciple on my own – I need you (community) to help me”. In this way it is mutual submission to one another under the Lordship of Christ for the sake of Missio Dei (God’s mission).

Stability – there is sacredness to place and space. Perhaps a better word for our time would be “Simplicity”. Either way this is important in our world of bigger, better, higher, faster. The still small voice comes in stillness and smallness – as silly as that sounds, I believe it has been missed by American Christians. We would committ to intentional structure our lives – individually, as families, and as a community – to dance to a life-giving rhythm of the Spirit. So, while for many this will mean planting and growing deep roots in a neighborhood for a lifetime, for others it may mean seasons in different places. These “seasons-changes” are not arbitrary or birthed out of a desire for “the next new thing” or “keeping up with the Joneses” – but rather a response to the Spirit’s movement as discerned by both the person, their family, and the Order. In all cases, the person seeks to live a simple life – free from the illusions of money, “success”, and power.

Fidelity – faithfulness to Christ, family, community, neighbor, and the stranger. It seems that some reduce the Gospel to personal relationship with Jesus (period, end of story). We would vow that this is not an option. Our Chrisitan discipleship permeates all of life, nothing is out of bounds. So our faithfulness to the Triune God bleeds over (and fills up) our faithfulness to our family, the Order, and those in need. We do not isolate ourselves. We acknowledge the pain and brokenness in ourselves, one another, and the world and we respond in Grace. We take on the position of Solidarity and Communion – our very lives become Sacramental as we are instruments of God’s Grace breaking in.

Hum… this needs more work, but hopefully it helps nudge us forward a fraction.

Instructions:

Read this.