Got this email today. Made me laugh. I think I may try some of these!

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

20. Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile..Its Called Therapy…

Good mini-vacation! Nice to be away with Sarah and to just be….

Did a bit of interesting reading Sunday. Started with The Message (Romans), moved on to The Sacred and Profane: The Nature of Religion, by Mircea Eliade, then to Cogito, Ergo Sum: The Life of Rene Descartes, by Richard Watson , next I watched the Animatrix, and finished the evening off with the just released Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Really interesting and some common themes throughout. Particularly the nature of reality.

I’m excited about our weekend! We’re headed to San Juan Capistrano, California for a mini-vacation! We need a retreat, a time away. We were supposed to go with Sarah’s staff to Disney’s California Adventure, but she got called in for Jury Duty (can you believe it!), maybe she’ll get done early and we’ll still be able to go.

Exciting times in the pregnancy – - – I was able to feel the baby kick (or hit) on Sarah’s belly the other night. So cool!!! We’re about finished with week 20 – half way there.

Other exciting news (I’ve used the word excited to much) – Brad and Missy Griffin will be moving to CA from KY in August. They are good friends from back in the day (college and camp). Not only that, but they will be our next door neighbors!

Good times.

Starting to come out of my funk. Still processing feelings of guilt and failure, but I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Eric asked me the other day what I’d learned through all this – good question – hopefully this next week I can write a post about it.

Ta Ta for now!

*On the personal side of things – - -

I have this gnawing sense of failure! I just can’t shake it. UGH!! I feel as though I’m just not good enough. I feel like I’ve failed and I’m a failure! There’s no good reason for feeling this way, and I know it’s a lie, but I can’t get away from it….

*In other news – - -

Good discussion on Church/Youth Ministry going on over at Re-Imagining Youth Ministry :a blog mentorship experiment, check it out.

Finals Week!!! Too much to do. Feeling better, received a lot of from good friends and understanding others.

Still feel pretty bad today, but not quite as bad. I feel like I smell like guilt – you know like after you eat a bunch of garlic and it just oozes out of your pores and no one wants to be around you cause you stink? That’s me.

Is it possible to follow God faithfully and let someone down in a ministry at the same time? I know that it should be, but I’m having a hard time accepting that fact.

Eeyore=Me.

I feel horrible!!! Yuck!! I feel so terribly guilty – some of which I own (I made mistakes, sinned, fell short, and broke promises), some of which I’m trying not to own (that stuff of which I have no control – other people’s feelings, reactions, expectations).

I’ve had to make some tough, hard decisions lately. But they have been decisions which I believe with all my heart (or 99.8% anyway) that are true and honest. I’m trying to follow God the best I know how – I’ve made the best decision I could based on that desire to follow and be faithful. Unfortunately, those decisions have caused me to let some people down and disappoint them. That hurts. I hate, Hate, HATE disappointing people. I despertaly want everyone to be happy with me and like me and not cause waves.

I’ve caused waves.

I’m going to have to live with this pain, this guilt, this tension for a while. I don’t want to bury it. I want to learn from it, grow from it, move with it – not just through it or around it. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do that. But I feel that I’m starting to be honest with myself again – something that I haven’t done in quite some time. How can I be honest with others if I’m not being honest with myself?

So, here I am.

Had a fun House Church meeting last night. It’s always so good to share your life with friends. It was Sarah and Matt Visser’s 2-year anniversary, but they were gracious to let us meet at their place anywho. We shared prayer concerns and praises and had a good prayer time. We then quickly left the premises so the Vissers could have some anniversary fun and adjourned to Juice It Up.

At Juice It Up we talked about our worst airport/flight stories and how the Matrix trilogy will end… let me know what you think (see below).

What is your worst airport/flight story?

So, Why do YOU think Neo could control the sentinels outside the matrix? How will the trilogy end, does Neo really have choice? Give me a holler.